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🇬🇧 Passive-Aggressive Behaviour

“Behind the smile, a hidden knife” - Ancient Chinese proverb describing passive-aggressive behaviour.


The incident referred to by the President is not the only one to have taken place. So a little history is needed. They live in a large apartment above the pool and are afforded a commanding view. So they see and hear most of what goes on. They carry a deep anger and hatred of the committee and staff. They do not like the way things are run. But instead of mounting a decent friendly, but futile, hearts and minds campaign to change that. They engage in what is termed passive-aggressive warfare.

Most chronically passive-aggressive individuals have five common traits:

  1. They’re unreasonable to deal with.

  2. They’re uncomfortable to deal with.

  3. They rarely express their hostility directly.

  4. They repeat their subterfuge behaviour regularly over time.

  5. When challenged, they rebuff it, become the victim and will never admit that it’s their fault.

Here are some examples and for those of you who remember the comedy series Mrs Bouquet, you will remember Hyacinth Bouquet, (real name Mrs Bucket) had a particular style of speech. In my opinion Michelle Brown has the same style.

  1. Wife of member of staff after enjoying a swim exits the pool. Owner or guest is just about to put foot in the water when you hear the proclamation “ Oh, I would not go in there if I were you, YOU, do not know who’s been in”

  2. My wife and I enter the pool area as the Browns are leaving, she sees us and in a loud voice proclaims “Oh, I can smell the drains” the look on the faces of people around us was one of horror and disbelief.

  3. You already know about the incident with the pool supervisor from the Presidents letter.

Here is something you may not know, ever thought who it was, that complained about you and caused Marisol to come from the owners office to the pool to sort thing out, read on;


Nigel Brown and myself are ex police officers, thankfully from different forces. Both of us have had interesting careers, both of us on the beat and in CID, my addition to that was Crime Scene Investigation and as a Senior Crime Manager. Both of us have had extensive training in managing people in sometimes very trying circumstances. Both of us have had to deal with some really unsavoury characters in our time.


So a group of male guests are in the pool area having a discussion as young men do. They are using foul and profane language and because of the acoustics of the area the language is carrying to every one else’s ears and obviously people are upset. Nigel Brown, due to his training cannot be offended, but he has the skills to do something about it. What is he going to do!


He finishes his ice lolly, removes the knotted handkerchief from his head, walks down to the owners office and complains bitterly to Marisol demanding that she goes to the pool to sorts the offenders out. Marisol rightly refused, talk about putting a female in harms way!

If I had been her, I along with every other woman would have said, “what are you, a man or a mouse”


We all love our children, they are the future of our societies and there is nothing more cheering than seeing and hearing them enjoying themselves in the pool while on holiday. Screaming, shouting, jumping in and yes they can be noisy and grate on your nerves. Thats how kids are, our kids were the same, as we were when we were their age.


NO, I’m not having this say’s Nigel Brown, off comes the knotted handkerchief and off to the owners office he goes, where he again complains to Marisol demanding she do something about it. She refused and rightly so.


This goes on all the time when they are here and it's not just him, she will accompany him for support on occasion. Marisol is right to refuse, this community lives under Spanish Law which dictates, that is the responsibility of every owner to abide by and uphold and in fact it expects owners to enforce the rules of the community. If you don’t agree with that, then learn the language and do the interpretation.


Marisol is not an owner and does not have owners powers and she should not be used by owners as their puppet just because said owners do not want to be identified or get involved. Because they don’t have guts to carry out their responsibilities.


You can read up on passive-aggressiveness here:


https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-a-passive-aggressive-person/


I bear no malice towards the Brown’s I just had to say how it is. If you’re on their Christmas card list you’re okay. If you’re not and you are not liked, then beware!


Michael Hudson.

Editor

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